Givers vs.Takers

Have you noticed that the response to the downturn by some people is to become a hoarder? Some people hoard their wealth, their contacts, their compliments and everything else like a squirrel hoarding nuts before winter sets in.

Hoarding is a very natural defensive behavior to an expected period of shortage.

On the opposite end of the spectrum are people who have stepped up their sharing and giving to others. These people approach life, even in a downturn, with a philosophy that the world is abundant and prosperity comes to those who open themselves up to the world.

These people are givers, and are in sharp contrast to those who are takers in life. Givers share their contacts, their time, their expertise and even their money with others. They do so with a philosophy that was best summed up, for me, many years ago by Zig Ziglar:

"You can get whatever you want in life, if you will just help enough others get what they want."

I am so blessed to be surrounded by givers. They nourish me in so many ways. And, I am so grateful for their presence in my life. This is not by accident...for I walk through life with Zig Ziglar's sage advice top of mind.

Of course, we all want to be viewed as more like givers, than like takers. But, what are you? What would an honest friend say about you? What does the composition of your circle of relationships say about what you are?

Like in good times, I believe that prosperity will primarily flow to the givers, even in these tough times.

The choice of what you are is up to you.

Dennis Rodman Fired on Celebrity Apprentice Show by Donald Trump

With a busy consulting practice, and a very active speaking and writing calendar, watching TV is a relative rarity for me. My wife and I do enjoy watching Donald Trump's Celebrity Apprentice on Sunday evening.

Last night's show was very poignant what with the high drama of a boardroom scene that featured a quasi-intervention for the benefit of Dennis Rodman, former NBA basketball star and famous showman.

Words will not do justice to what played out on tonight's show. Watching Donald Trump, Ivanka Trump and some of the celebrities deal so lovingly with Dennis in an effort to start him on the path to dealing with what was portrayed as a real drinking problem was very moving. You can watch the Week #5 show online here. (One only has to view the last 15 minutes to see the drama and get the point.)

Reality TV certainly has a lot of modeling of bad behaviors that likely contribute to some of the sadder moments of our society. Kudos to producer Mark Burnett and Donald Trump for using the show as a platform for some positive role modeling - getting across the destruction of alcoholism and the beauty of friends who have the courage to do an intervention of someone needing help with their drinking.

The star of tonight’s episode was Jesse James, himself a recovering alcoholic. James has been impressing me every show for his stand-up style and brilliant creativity. But, tonight showed why Jesse is the class of the show.

I was particularly moved as I had spent the day planning an intervention with a friend who has started a downward spiral from another form of addiction.

In these tough times, many will unfortunately fall prey to addictive behaviors of all kind.

Getting a loved one, friend or employee to professional help for their addictive behavior is so, so important.

A list of some of the leading helpful resources is displayed half-way down on the right column of this blog.

Getting someone the help they need will bring you a prosperity far beyond what money will likely ever bring you. And, that is what this blog is all about.

Watching a friend in a downward spiral from addictive behaviors? Learn how to do an intervention and get your friend some help.

Leaking Money Like a Sieve

Is your business or the business of your employer leaking money like a sieve?

I am continually amazed at how often I see businesses that are concerned about not having enough business, while at the very same time they are destroying that business that they do have.

Previously, I posted about the Bellagio Hotel in Las Vegas as an example of this situation. Since that post, I received communication from other guests having similar problems. (And, the Bellagio has chosen to never respond to my follow-up communication with executive management. Amazing!)

Now, my point is not, per se, the Bellagio. It is about businesses just leaking money like a sieve.

Let me give you another example. I am a huge fan of the free newsletter, Early to Rise. I like their free content, respect their paid programs, and I have long admired their business.

I signed up for a year long program they sponsored with consultant Bob Cox. I enjoyed year of Cox's program and in December received notice that if I wanted to continue in the program, I did not have to do anything, my charge card would continue to be billed monthly.

Come January, I noticed communication from Cox had stopped (and so too had the monthly charge). When I received nothing in February, I became concerned and so I submitted an online trouble ticket. As I recall, their site said I would hear back within a week. Two weeks later, I had heard nothing.

So, this time I called customer service, rather than using their non-responsive online customer help function. The customer service rep was very nice and after some research said that the problem was my credit card had failed to go through. Interestingly, they apparently don’t send out an automated notice when a car is declined (which in long programs can happen for things as simple as needing an updated card expiration date). I must admit I don't check every month on these types of programs to see to it that the card they have is still valid.

So, I tell the customer service rep that I want to continue with the program and give him a current credit card. It is now a couple of weeks later and I have heard nothing from the program. When I get my credit card statement, I will find out if they are billing me and, if so, start the customer service process again.

How silly. More accurately, how sad! This is a multi-million dollar business leaking money. Driving away a client who likes their product as result of apparently lacking adequate back-end systems (of the form that businesses 1/100 their size routinely have).

My point is not to attack Early To Rise. I am using them as a real example of another fine company that has bad service problems. Something I see every day.

Is your business leaking money? Is your business driving away customers who want to do business with you?

PS This is just another example of the opportunities in these tough times. How about being a money leak fixer for businesses?

Help for Laid Off Employees

As the unemployment situation grows...and I believe it will continue to get worse before it gets better, each of us is likely to have a relative, close friend or neighbor who experiences the trauma of losing their job at this time when jobs are so hard to find.

We face to two choices with these friends...we can turn the other way and make like we don't see their misfortune, or we can extend a helping hand.

Ron Leiber recently wrote a terrific column in the New York Times on this subject: Layoff's Duty to The Less Fortunate. Beyond Ron's thoughtful list of tips, he has posted a a fine list of recommendations from Amy Baker that originated from a time when she was laid off.

Because I am so grateful for my very active consulting business and compassionate about those losing their job for no reason of their own doing, I have chosen to extend the helping hand, rather than just turn away and ignore the problem.

My personal focus with people in this situation is to inquire about the support network they have in place.

Ultimately, getting re-employed is more than a one person task in these trying times.

It is critical that a person quickly put in place the right support team and make good use of such a team. The role of the right team is to provide both emotional support and substantive assistance.

Amy Baker's list is so good that I will now also use her wonderful list in my efforts to help friends in this situation.

Here is the wonderful thing about helping people who have been laid off. Not only will you be helping your friends, but you will also experience a sense of gratitude that will help you in many dimensions of your own life.

Prospering in tough times is about more than just hoarding the largest pile of money in these tough times!

False Evidence Appearing Real - FEAR is All Around Us

I am sure that you have noticed that fear surrounds us. Not since 9/11 have I seen so much fear among the general population. Fear of losing a job. Fear of not being able to find a job. Fear of having wages or benefits reduced. Fear of having a medical emergency and being without health care insurance. Fear of having to work way past 65 in a work place that often exhibits unsaid age bias. Fear of losing your home. Fear of losing more of your retirement funds. Etc. Etc.

In connection with my work with peak performers, I have been studying the emotion of "fear" for many years. As you know, fear can trigger physiological defensive reactions that are quite helpful...they even could be life saving. But, fear also can be debilitating. What I am seeing a lot of is people whose fear is debilitating...people who could improve their productivity and quality of life if they could manage fear better.

What fears do you currently have that are being counterproductive to your prospering in these tough times?

My most powerful lessons in managing fear came through my six Outward Bound wilderness experiences (the lessons from which were described in a series that starts here). Each of these 10-12 day experiences contained elements that forced me to deal with a variety of fears (heights, cold, heat, whitewater, etc.). From these experiences, I learned about the power of looking at fear through the prism of the acronym F.E.A.R., False Evidence Appearing Real . I have learned to challenge feelings of fear with the test of "is this just False Evidence Appearing Real?"

Well, I know most readers of this blog are not about to go off on an Outward Bound experience to learn how to better manage their fears. A quicker and less expensive way to learn more about managing fears is a wonderful book by Joseph Bailey, Fearproof Your Life, How to Thrive in a World Addicted to Fear.

Bailey does an excellent job of explaining fear and of laying out specific ways to break away from the tyranny of living in continual fear.

These really are tough times for so many Americans. But, they need not be times that you fear. Manage your fear and you will be taking an important first step in embracing the recession, the subject of a four part series that starts here.

Hole in Sidewalk Story

Many coaches and some of the addiction recovery programs like to use a short powerful poem that is a wonderful metaphor for how to live life...especially in these tough times. Recently one of my coaches, the very talented Jennifer Sabin, reminded me of this powerful poem by the late Portia Nelson. The following poem is from Nelson's book There is a Hole in My Sidewalk:

''Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

I. I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.I fall in. I am lost. . .I am helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.

II. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again. I can't believe I am in the same place. But, it isn't my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.

III. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I fall in . . . it's a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.

IV. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

V. I walk down another street."

Portia was a multi-talented artist and real Renaissance woman who upon her death the NY Times called "one of the most beloved New York night club performers of the 1950's." She was also a songwriter, painter, actress, and author.

In today's environment, holes abound. The question is do you keep falling in the same hole? Or, the same type of hole?

Or....are you taking graduate level courses in tough times, learning from your experiences, and appropriately shifting your direction?

The Snowball is Rolling Faster

It has been five months since I wrote about the snowball lesson.

Here we are almost two months into a new administration and the snowball is still gathering speed. The economy just keeps getting worse. Regretfully, we do not appear to be close to yet hitting bottom. The reasons I cited five months ago in my series as to why I expected this downturn to be severe and long lasting become ever more apparent. Yuk! Yuk! Yuk!

Those looking to Washington for a solution could be in for a long wait. Our President's financial team is doing little to inspire much confidence. Every day, I become more concerned that Treasury Secretary Geithner has been unable to get his senior team in place. Adding to that disability, the press reports that National Economic Council Chairman Larry Summers learned little about controlling his immense ego from his relatively short tenure as Harvard President (I am not in Washington so I can't know for sure if the press reports are correct, but anyone who would let himself be proposed as the Economic "Czar," as Summers did, certainly is suspect for having a major ego problem). And, reportedly Paul Volcker is not really being listened to. Already some pundits are referring to the liklihood that the gang will beome known as "the gang that couldn't shoot straight."

Let me be clear. Solving this world wide economic problem is beyond the capabilities of any one person. Teamwork is needed every bit as much as raw intellect. And, we all know that teamwork is not something for which Washington is known.

So, does that mean I expect the end of the world is near? Hardly!

I continue to believe that each and every one of us has the capability to chart a personal plan for prosperity. The best course of action is the one that I learned from Outward Bound many years ago, self rescue.

From time to time, I report the bad news on this blog so that readers will get the message of how important it is for individuals to promptly take the right actions. If one thinks that a turnaround in the economy is imminent, one can be lulled into inaction.

The vast, vast majority of my posts are positive stories of individuals who are leading the way through their actions. The recently concluded series on people who "get it" is a composite of men and woman, from a variety of vocations, who are taking actions to help themselves and to help others to prosper. And, my earlier series on Lessons from the Masters likewise shared tips from some very capable thought leaders.

I am a huge believer in the strength of the human spirit.

I believe we are in the early stages of the latest reinvention of our economy here in the United States. Those individuals and companies that embrace this reinvention will prosper.

Those that fight this reinvention are likely to suffer long and hard.

The choice is yours. I choose to embrace the reinvention. I hope you will do likewise.