Recently, my attention was drawn to the headline of this post by one of my Google reviews of most frequently searched terms. No sooner than having been made aware of this notion, I began hearing - first hand - the stories that go something like this:
Husband (or significant other) gets laid off...husband goes into a funk...and husband just lazes around.
Meanwhile the wife is holding down a full time job and is still doing the vast majority of the household chores.
Sound familiar? I hope not!
I feel for the woman who are going through this kind of situation. They are really dammed if they do , dammed if they don't. If they try to nudge the husband, they are likely to get a fair amount of resentment. (The male specie, by and large, is not keen on receiving guidance.) And, if they do nothing, they are unlikely to get much change from the husband.
Best advice I can offer is that women in this position get help on how to deal with the situation...from a professional (coach, therapist, etc.) if possible, but if not possible, then from a thoughtful friend. What I know is that a person can't let the situation add to the load already being carried. Remember, Cheryl Richardson's thoughtful guidance that in these challenging times it is more important than ever that extreme self care be our priority.
Best advice I can offer any husband in this situation is get over your layoff. If you can't do so quickly without counseling, then get counseling! In this economy, many a good person is getting laid off. The measure of a person is not whether they are getting laid off but what they are doing about getting re-employed. And, what they are doing - in the interim - to carry their fair share of the burden of operating a household.
I am a huge believer in the notion that life was meant to be shared. Shared so as to make the good times more enjoyable. And, shared so as to make the challenging times more doable.
If you are in a relationship, are you carrying your fair share of the load?
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